I Is Not A Happy Panda

I just lost this frickin huge contest. We just had to make a sign for this mag/site.
This i the winner's http://bit.ly/76gPjV
and this is mine  http://bit.ly/8ucnX7
The winner got a buttload of merch from like 5 different bands and I get a bracelet for being "a close second"

I is not a happy panda....
That took me forever to draw !

Picnik Is Better Than Photoshop

Only cause I actually know how to use it XD
I edited a pic of Jared Leto today

This is the original

And here it is edited

I mos def wouldnt have been able to do that with Photoshop :P
Oh and on the hat it says "Quadriga"
I made this for Seth's graphics site

I love it! Best thing I've edited so far <3

o(^_^)o<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

I finally had a legitimate convo with him
(p.s. Obvs I lied on Twitter, I know you all loves me ^_^ I just really needed him to answer me)
It was really just one big misunderstanding
We were both having bad weeks and took it out in each other :P
We're all good now
We talked for 5 straight hours, lol
Just like we used to ;D
He likes me too >.< heeheehee
I had to force it out of him >:)
But I won!
(speaking of winning Bryant owes me a shirtless twitpic to prove he has a six pack)
Its so funny tho, I was answering Formspring questions all day and Seth kept popping up in them, lol.
Someone said we would look cute together, haha ;D
idk, haha, I'm just really happy right now and hope nothing breaks me down :)


I Can Only Try...

Everyone notices I'm depressed right now. When I tell them why they don't understand when I say I HAVE to get over you.
Talking to you made my life a little better, but now you're ruining it. You're ripping me to shreds and you don't even realize it. I don't know, maybe I shouldn't have fallen for someone with depression. You're stuck in the hole you've dug, and every time I throw you a line you pull it in with you.
I don't want to be depressed anymore.
People don't realize just how much they need me when they lose me. Nia realized it too late. Now her life is in the trash and she's categorized as a slut.
I know for a fact I was one of the few people that made you smile. But you just keep pushing me away. I'm gonna try and program my heart to say I don't care about you. I shouldn't be in this much pain about someone who obviously doesn't care about me. Goodbye.
Oh, one more thing. I was crying as I wrote this. Add that to your conscience.


Please, Just Make It Stop

It hurts so much
I just want it to stop
I know you dont mean to hurt me
Its your nonchalance thats cutting me deep
My heart hurts
I'm dying inside
I'm trying to get over you
Since that's what you want
I'm trying to lie to you
Since that's what you want
You say no one cares
I do
Am I no one?
I've never been in so much pain
I'm beyond stressed
And all I want to do is cry
Just make the pain go away...


I'll Keep It To Myself Next Time...

Ok, the situation I mentioned in my previous post was I told Seth I liked him.
You happy?

I seriously just might not tell anyone I like them anymore. It never goes over well for me. I'm all confident then I just deflate. It happened first back in middle school.
Thomas Gaines.
Cept with that, I was humiliated to no end. But now I'm over it. Sorry, but I dont want someone that sleeps around and cheats.

First, I told him Ellen thought we should go out. He was confused on why I didn't want to tell him that so he was like "why is that bad? I mean I have nothing negative to say. I just live wat to faraway". Then I told him I liked him and conveniently my phone loses its signal... The convo was picked back up this morning. It was all just really complicated and ended up upsetting me in the end.
It was like he didnt want me to like him. He kept putting himself down, acting like he was nothing.
I'm just not gonna say anything next time.
Sometimes, I really hate my confidence.


A monumental moment (ok not really, but it sounds more exciting this way) and my signal on my phone just disappears. And naturally, I immediately start thinking negative because I don't have the real reaction. So, thank you Phone, for sending me into a panic last night.

Everything feels awkward now. But probably only to me...

I'm beating around the bush, you all want to know what I'm talking about. Well... NO! I'm not giving in twice. I didn't even tell them right off. I wrote all the words backwards then put the whole thing backwards... it sounded like s good idea at the time...

So what have we learned today?
That Chloe should keep her mouth shut and obviously her signal disappeared for a reason.




"House, The Movie Not The Tv Show"

Okay this was supposed to be up yesterday, but my phone kept spazzing and wouldnt send it so I threw it in my hamper....


I hung with Ellen, Sarah and Kasey yesterday. We rented House and I'm pretty sure none of us really watched it. Afterwards was just random. Here's one a sample of one of me and Kasey's convos.
Kasey- "Toge toge prriiii!!"
Me-"Pika pika. Pika chu?"
"bulba bulbasaaauuur"
"Charmander charrr... Dude! Charmander sounds like Charlie the unicorn!"
"We're going to Candy Mountain, Charlie. Candy Mountainnnnn!!"
"Shun the non believer. Shuuuuuunnnnn"

Hahahah it was a great night. Oh and some of our funny moments watching the movie

"There's a garager now?"

"Someone missed the potty"

"Ew! My Eye! It touched my eye!"

"I'm being molested." "Want some pie? It'll be our little secret."

Haha, you had to be there


Playing With Photoshop

So I was bored all day. Butler Tech didnt have school so yea... Anyways I messed around with photoshop again and made an even better twitter layout. By better I mean better than my Caleb one, lol.



And just for your entertainment, here's the Caleb layout I made.

Before gradient was added-

After gradient was added-

See, my Tanner Layout is waaaaay better, ahaha. No, this does not mean I'm getting better. It means I can bullshit my way through it, ahahah.

Osup, I think Tanner maybe slowly replacing Caleb in my lineup. At least he replies back to me, lol.
Oh yea, he said he was gonna call me "ChaCha"

I wonder if he'll remember when I see him at Warped in July.

I'm planning on getting him a chipotle gift card. And I'm getting AJ a sarbucks card. Not sure what to get Brendan and Garrett. But, I made them a mix cd of some of my fave songs off my iTunes and I'm making them bracelets.


I'm such a fangirl

But I love it


Warped Tour *Band Updates*

So they posted more bands for Warped so...here they are!

  • After Midnight Project
  • Alesana
  • AM Taxi
  • Anarbor
  • Andrew W.K
  • Artist Vs Poet*
  • Attack Attack
  • Automatic Loveletter
  • Breathe Carolina*
  • Breathe Electric
  • Bring Me The Horizon*
  • Closure in Moscow
  • Confide 
  • Deals Gone Bad
  • Disco Curtis*
  • Emarosa
  • Emmure
  • Every Time I Die
  • Eyes Set To Kill
  • Face To Face
  • Fake Problems
  • Far From Finished
  • Fight Fair
  • Flatfoot 56
  • Four Year Strong*
  • Haste The Day
  • Hey Monday
  • Hot Chelle Rae*
  • I Can Make A Mess Like Nobody's Business
  • ice nine kills
  • In Fear And Faith
  • iwrestledabearonce
  • Left Alone
  • Mayday Parade*
  • Mike Posner
  • NeverShoutNever*
  • Of Mice and Men
  • Parkway Drive
  • Pierce The Veil
  • Reel Big fish
  • Riverboat Gamblers
  • Set Your Goals
  • Suicide Silence
  • Sum 41
  • The Cab
  • The Casualties
  • The Dillinger Escape Plan
  • The Reverand Peytons Big Damn Band
  • The Rocket Summer*
  • The Sparring
  •  The Summer Set*
  • The Word Alive
  • Tip The Van 
  • VersaEmerge
  • We Are The In Crowd*
  • We The Kings*
  • Whitechapel
  • You Me At Six*
Note: The ones with * after them are who I want to see


Dayummm! Those Boys Expensive!

So yea, I emailed Disco Curtis's manager so I could find out how much it would cost to get them to me. $2000-3000... thats a lotta canolis! I dont know, but obviously they won't be playing my bday this year. Also, I'm trying to figure out what to get them. Garrett and Brendan are hard cause I know nothing about them. Garrett wouldn't answer my simple question. He just said "I'll love whatever you get :)" Grrr... and Brendan doesn't really reply back on Twitter and I'm pretty sure he hasn't accepted my myspace request yet. Idk... I guess I'll just wait to see them at Warped. Although, I did tell Seth that he should either call me or slip Tanner my number when he sees them at the Texas FTSK shows next week, lol.

I also emailed Jay about what you'd have to do to be a manager. He hasn't gotten back to me yet. Idky, but lately I've really been wanting to do something in music... Maybe not managing, but something. I can be a Merch Girl for all I care, just as long as I'm in the business.


We Are No Longer Friends

I swear I said that to like three people today, haha. In culinary we were learning how to fillet fish. I was partnered with Cassie and of course she made me go get it -_- OMG it was so gross! I havent felt so girly and squeamish in a long time. It was the whole fish except it was gutted. We had to cut the fins off then cut it so the head and tail were still attached to the backbone. EW! I took pictures. They are now on twitter, facebook & myspace. The seniors got to kill lobsters. And they also got prawns, shrimp, clams and oysters cause they were making paella. Lucky bastards. I almost threw up a couple times when I was dealing with the fish. Note to self: Never work with Cassie when butchering animals..,



This has been a bad weekend. Its gonna be a bad week as well. More or less Saturday night, my mom and dad were arguing or whatever. Next thing I knew my dad was gone and my aunt and grandma were here. My dad's phone and car were still here though. My aunt took me and my siblings to their house and my grandma stayed with my mom. I didnt say a word the whole trip there cause I knew I would burst into tears. I still didnt say anything as they settled into the house. I just took out my iPod and drowned myself in the music. I went into my cousin's room, I knew they expected me to go to sleep, but I wasnt. I stayed up and watched the Cowboys win, then SNL. My dad walked in close to the end. I'm pretty sure he walked there. As soon as he walked in, I couldnt hold the tears anymore. I'm still confused on whats going on. After SNL went off I watched Scrubs then South Park. They tried to get me to sleep again, I wasnt going to. I wanted to go home. My grandma came and got me later and took me home. I walked in and went straight to my room. My mom came in and sat down with me. I ended up crying some more in her arms. Her (to be
continued when I get to a computer)


"You're a minor..."

I hate those words. All of my friends are minors and they're allowed to go off on their own. But no, I'm gonna miss my chance to see Every Avenue, The Summer Set, The Audition, Sparks The Rescue and Callahan because I'm a fucking minor. Why don't I get to do anything? I am seriously the most boring teenager alive! Why do I even have friends? I'm just a pathetic existence and waste of space. If I can't go to a fucking concert, what's my purpose? I have dedicated my life to music. I can't make it, but I promote it. How am I supposed to do that if I don't have any fucking freedom?! I just want to scream and punch somebody in their fucking face right now. My vision is blurred with angry tears and I feel s headache coming. Go ahead, put the pathetic waste of space in even more misery. I fucking hate my life. I don't ever get to do what I want. EVER! Fuck this shit. I'm just gonna hide in my closet and cry.

The Orphan's Hangover

I had a movie night with Ellen. I conned her into watching Orphan with me and then we got the Hangover too. The Orphan is MESSED. UP! Dude, there's this HUGE! twist, thank God it wasnt like the twist in The Uninvited that just left you confused as hell. We watched the Hangover afterwards, now THAT is some funny shit. Hahaha, so so funny!

I really dont know what else to talk about...

I'm trying to go to this concert tomorrow. Its Every Avenue, Callahan, The Summer Set, Sparks The Rescue, The Audition and Ian Walsh. I reeeally wanna go.

This was hella pointless brah.


Quotes From Culinary

Justen- You hear that Conor. She doesn't like beef and she's allergic to cucumbers.

Dude, he said this while we were in the school library. We were dying, haha.

Christa- No! i mean I like em, I just \...
Justen-Ohhh! you can look but you can't touch.

Christa- Conor has three stomachs
Me- So he's a cow
Kenneth- Cow's have four stomachs
Me-So he's a cow
Kenneth- Cow's have four stomachs
Conor- Actually I have six stomachs
Me- See, he's a mutated cow.
Christa- That explains all the nipples.

Alex- So youre a bastard child
Christa- Dont call me that
Alex- but thats what it is
Christa- i dont care, dont fucking call me that!
Alex- Fine whatever
Christa- Just...dont fucking call me that.

Kenneth- you turn right, turn right, turn left, turn left, til you almost his a wall then make an immediate right.

Daniel- It looks like pond water
Casey- Its not! Just drink it. i'll give you a dollar
Daniel- you said it was slimy!
Casey- Its no-- I was joking. Its just a little thick...and green. Chad! Drink this!
chad- What's in it?
Casey- Dont worry about it
Cierra- Now you know its nasty, haha
Casey- JESSE!
Jesse- No! No, no! turn around Joey, don't even come in here.


They aren't doing anything on this damn project and its fucking pissing me off!!! I'm tired of being the only one doing all the fucking work. And you wonder what's wrong? FIGURE IT OUT ASSHOLES!!! Its not that fucking hard to figure out whats upsetting me. Why dont you do some fucking work then ask me what's wrong! U'm so fucking pissed right now I could fucking kill someone. We havee NOTHING done! This...oh so now youre getting pissed at me cause I'm not answering you? Why dont you tell your boyrfriend to look up some fucking information. This is EXACTLY why I work on projects alone. No one but me does the fucking work. I HATE group projects. I fucking HATE THEM! Oh she moved tables now cause she's pissed. HAHAHAHA!!!!! Now you know how I feel!!!!!

Seth The Sickest

The poor dear is sick :( He called me yesterday for no reason. Well actually the reason was cause he was bored and I'm his friend ;) I jumped cause I forgot I actually turned the sound on on my phone. I'm listening to Paper Airplanes by Phil Bensen then Do Or Die comes blaring out my phone.
Seth is fun when he's sick, haha. He straight up loses brain cells. I mean he's already random, but the randomness is above maximum when he's sick. Nhat Ha said I should post some of our random convos. Next time I'm on the phone with him I'll see if I remember that.
He played a trick on me, the jerk lol. Unlike most people tho, I didnt believe it. I didn't think he was behind it tho. He just kept laughing and I was like what? Its funny because he acts all innocent, so then you KNOW he did something.
I swear I post more blogs about him then I do myself

OMG!askarth I'm a DREAMER!

My bracelets from Jac Vanek came. So now I have 5 on my arm :D

I had to email Music.Com again because my cd hasn't come yet. Shawn said it might've been because of the holidays. Uh-huh... And that I should get it this week. Uh-huh... We'll see.

In other news Tanner Howe is drop dead sexy. <3



So in culinary we're working on this project. My group has nothing done. They know I'm on garde manger and they chose not to do shit while I was doing competition stuff. I picked out the recipes. I designed the passport page. I gathered the pictures. So now they can do the rest. Our posterboard is due tomorrow and has nothing on it...UGH!
Since construction is going on, two of my classes were moved. They moved the office to, and now the bell and intercom system is just screwed up.
Today was just bad.
The printers were effing up. I got confused looking for the new classrooms. Just bad...


Take Me There by Susane Colasanti

This story is told in three character's POV. Usually I like stories told in this concept. But Susane had the character's speaking in the same voice, which I described as gangster/skater/surfer. The characters each had different labels, yet the talked exactly the same. I also didn't like how it started back at the beginning when it changed POV. I get you wanna tell what we missed, but that gets really boring. The story itself was really good if you ignore all the flaws I mentioned. Rhiannon (essentially the main character) gets dumped by her boyfriend, Steve, and by the end of the book, she finally gets together with best friend of four years, James (another POV). And then Nicole (The last POV) is really just a random part. Turns out she was abused by her dad and you don't find this out til the very end. Colasanti sends you on this wild chase where she's in love with her teacher and she keeps hinting that something's gonna happen between, but no, she was
sexually abused by her father! What a way to end a book!



We tried again to get Bry trending. Its funny though, cause the dude that organized this (@iTTSZACK) barely tweeted at all! Me, Emily (@emilykmccall), and Selina (@selina_falcon) tried to get it trend. If it had trended it would've been because of us. Bry's "official" street team did nothing. They don't promote him. They just like having the title of "Official Bryant James Street Team". Please. They don't update their Myspace. Yet they get pissed when Gerry (Bry's manager) doesn't answer their email?! C'mon now, he's a busy man. The Ohio, Florida and Fresno teams shouldn't be doing more than the "official" team. But anyways, since we did work the hardest Bry said he would give us something. He said he was drawing something. The first thing that went through my mind was, "Can he even draw?!" The answer is no, haha. So we'll see what he's got cooked up. I mean he already owes me some Reese's and Mountain Dew, haha ;)

"Does he hate you?"

4 little words said by a 5-year old. It kinda stung when she said that. She had asked why my dad wasn't there. I said I didn't know. Then she says, "Does he hate you?" I didn't say anything. I acted as if I hadn't heard. Then she ran off to go play. Typical... I spent the rest of the night watching my 2-year old God-brother. I didn't have to. I chose to. The adults took over the tv, so that option was out. The little ones tool over the Wii, so that was out too. I was bored. EJ entertained me cause he was fine just playing with an empty gift bag and tissue paper. He hung with me the whole night. Which is unusual for him cause he's not a people person.
My dad has been distant lately. I keep saying to myself he doesn't hate us... but how can I be sure?


Song For The Year & Month of January

At midnight I set my iPod on shuffle. I decided the first song to play would be my song for 2010.
The song was LA This Time by Phil Bensen. I like anything by Bensen so I'm cool with this.
I also decided to do a song of the month. So I used the second song that shuffled by. And it was Trouble by NeverShoutNever. Also another good choice. This was a song Christofer Drew actually wrote on his ukulele.

I'm not gonna lie, I would have died laughing if either song was a Christmas song, since I don't really take songs off my pod.
But yea, hopefully I can stick with this.

Good morning 2010; Good night 2009
You were a rough year, but a great year :)